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Someone close to me is dying. They are racist. And, I love them.

A few weeks ago, I wrote this phrase in my journal and wept. As one of two Black adopted kids in a white family, I am used to complicated grief and loss. And I am used to sharing my stories of grief while also purposely omitting prefixes.

Placed in foster care until my adoption at age four, I know what it is like to have a primal wound. I know what it is like to carry grief and all of its wind chime wails, full-body sobs, and…

How Many Dead Black Bodies Does it Take to Make Anti-Racism Your New Year’s Resolution?

Photo Credit: Theo Ponchaveli

I have never liked New Year’s Resolutions. Not surprisingly, this year has only increased that disdain. Not only because COVID has announced in the UK “new year, new me,” but because this year, I have been resentfully privy to various performative, cringe-inducing, gratitude-pandering, social media testimonies by “woke” Christian, white progressives about how Black death and trauma have led to their white enlightenment and subsequent woke salvation.

Listen: Jesus was Black, but George Floyd was not lynched to save white people.

Perhaps, if your social…

Credit: Corbis

This past June, my husband and I celebrated five years of marriage. You can probably guess that celebrating our five-year anniversary during a revolution and a pandemic was not what we had planned. And yet, as a Racial Justice Educator, and a Black woman and in an interracial marriage, discussions about race are hardly new for me.

After all, racism has been around for centuries. Even though America may be in a moment of national race consciousness, the tactics of racism and performative allyship are not new. Many of us have been knew. In America, I’d contest that Black and…

Image from ShareAmerica

At the turn of the twentieth century, coal miners would use canaries in order to detect carbon monoxide and other toxic gases to humans. Miners would sometimes refer to the birds as pets, but the birds were always there as a protectant. If the bird became ill or died, the miners knew to evacuate. And, according to the Smithsonian, “[a]lthough ending the use of the birds to detect deadly gas was more humane, miners’ feelings were mixed. …

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I am in a bad break-up with my DMs.

Well, actually, I am in a bad-breakup with the white Christian racists in my DMs.

Recently, my DMs have been flooded with everything from feigned concern from white high school acquaintances that stopped talking to me nine years ago, to reminders from Christians that talking about racism makes racism worse and that I am going to hell, to a three-page single-spaced essay from a Black conservative reminding me that I am the real slave because…. everything. Because we had a Black president. Because we have opportunities. Because we are no longer…


Bonita Chaim is a racial justice educator in Mennonite and Anabaptist communities. She is the founder of The Ebenezer Project, a lover of musicals and books.

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